Don t be morally beaten by your parents! Is it unfilial to be filial to pay for filial piety, take care of yourself, and move out of the family? 10 things that Lu Qiu reminds your children to know

From childhood to adulthood, in traditional Chinese society, we are influenced by Confucianism. The concept of parents who are filial to be virtue, filial piety is the first, and there is nothing wrong with the world is deeply rooted. They believe that children who are filial are good children, so they must listen to everything from their parents. This also means that no matter how your parents treat you, you must be filial. If you are not filial, you will be morally inferior. Ang Lee made a different view on this, "Filial piety is a timely concept. I never teach my children to be filial, I only teach them to love." He believes that children should not be beaten by filial piety and moral slander. Lawyer Jun Qiuyun also reminded that during the growth process, if you unfortunately encounter a parent who is ungrateful, irresponsible, or sexually assaulted, you should know 10 things your children should know!

There are no parents in the world? Don't be beaten by filial piety

Jun Qiuyun said, "There is no wrong parent in the world" is the most specialized, self-defeated, inexplicable, and unlogical sentence in family relations. Where are there fewer parents in the world who are cruel domestic violence, irresponsible, sexually assaulting their children, and running away from home? But sadly, this society is still full of filial piety, which makes many people feel that they should do this because of what others think, and end up exhausting themselves to death.

There are too many of them. How much money must be taken to go home, how many times should you go home, you must report it first when you spend the night outside, take care of your parents, you must not be able to date someone who does not agree with, you must pass their consent to do anything, move out of your home, etc. If you do not follow their wishes, you will be unfilial.

At the same time, parents keep getting involved in the life of their children, when to get married, when to have children after marriage, the bad grandparents help their children, the couple intervenes in quarrels, etc., and then use the inactive life that has been intensive throughout their lives as a control tool, and use the money they have saved hard as a support for their children, so that he does not have to work and bully his wife at home.

If you face such parents, Ji Qiutian suggests that you really don’t have to care too much about their thoughts. The reason why you care so much is that you haven’t figured it out yet. You can refuse these unreasonable requests from you!

As a child, you need to know 10 things:

1. He just transferred his expectations to you

He couldn't be a doctor when he was a child, so he asked you to go to a medical school; his junior high school performance was not good, so he asked you to get a good score; he didn't have money to learn piano before, so you must be proficient in moonlight playing phlegm. He will ask you to go in his direction because this is his expectation, and it is not very important whether it is yours or not.

2. He just uses property as a tool to control you

When he dies, his money will be yours. He must have said this sentence three times a day, but he was full of energy and full of energy when he was speaking. Then he kept asking you to do everything in his way, including your love, work, marriage, and children, otherwise, you will not get your property in the future because you don’t listen. In fact, he always wants you to hear it, but he used to beat him when he was a child, and now he uses to be crutches.

3. He just has a boring life and wants to find something to do.

He will help you take a child, and complain about why he still needs to take a child when he is so old. He will help you quarrel with your partner because he thinks the child is wronged. He will want to take care of your money because he thinks your partner will steal the money back to his parents' home. But in fact, those are all fake, only "his life has no focus" is true.

4. He just wants to control you

because he is old, the only remote control that can be controlled is the TV, and you. As long as you don't listen, he will cry and chant the mantra, "I worked hard to nourish you, you are really unfilial." The magical thing is that after the mantra is finished, you will automatically become a stadium. He is unhappy in every attempt, and you are unhappy in everything.

5. He just wants you to know that all you are his thing

You are heartless, you are cool, you are unreasonable. You are such a contradictory little thing, you are such a tormenting little thing, you are such a cool little thing. I don't obey, I don't listen. Do you know what you said? It’s my heart made of flesh! I am participating in your past; of course I will not miss your future! what? Do you want to be independent? You must think I'm so upset and silly. God, God! Why don’t you kill this unfilial son!

6. He was just empty and lonely and cold, and he was still working. He had been working for about ten years and had been bored for a long time. Those who are not at work can deal with TV every day, which is not an option. If the spouse is still there, it is probably nothing to say; if the spouse is not here, Aunt Ah, who wants to pursue the alley, probably has no courage. "No matter you, who does he care?"

7. He just doesn't understand the law, he doesn't know that he will be an adult after he is 20 years old

You are already an adult, but in the eyes of your parents, you will always be the one who is not old and who will cry when you go to the school gate to find your mother. You are innocent and innocent, and you are concerned about your children. In fact, when you reach the age of 80, he will still feel that you have no ability to act.

8. He just doesn't know how to let go

He doesn't know that he should let go at the right time, let you fall, live with yourself, be a parent, and be angry with your children. He always thinks that only when he is there can you be safe and smooth for your life.

9. He just thought that it was called responsibility

He just thought that letting you have a smooth life is the best gift to you. He doesn't know that it will cause you to have setbacks, but it is actually an important part of life. He took all his responsibilities, thinking that this was the last mile of his life.

10. He just thought that the last love was to let go of his hands. It's just that he doesn't believe it. In fact, what you should do is just let yourself go.

Regarding parents, you must take good care of yourself first so that you can do whatever you can, go regularly and do as quickly as possible, and do what you can and want to do.

For all human relations, the only thing you can do is to do within your ability.

Ann Li: Filial piety is a timely concept. I never teach my children to be filial.

Many parents also like to often put "filial piety" around their mouths. If they are not moved, they will blackmail their children's affection. "How much money did I spend to raise you?", "If you don't care, you will be unfilial", "I will raise you, and this is what you owe me", "If you grow up, your wings will become hard." It seems that children are the accessories of parents. As long as they are not willing to respond and do not report them, they are ruthless and should be despised by the public. Under such social pressure, do you dare to be unfilial?

International director Ang Lee, after filming "Wedding Banquet" many years ago, said this passage:

"If you have a relationship with your parents, you can love each other. There is no need to create a level of concept. You must serve the older ones in small ways, but everyone is a body, you must respect him, his gender orientation, his love, and you must respect and accept him for everything about him. This is a peaceful relationship. A basis.

I think "filial piety" is a timely concept. Of course, I can't talk to Chinese people for hundreds of years, and this is a deeply rooted existence. But in my thoughts, I no longer teach my children the "filial piety" thing. As long as they feel my love, they also love me. "

In fact, children and parents are independent bodies and should not use moral tyranny to siege each other. Isn’t listening or replying is unfilial? That is just a child's choice. The elves between him and his parents should be "love", not "filial piety" as follows, so as not to let "filial piety" morally defeat him.